Good to be back at last. Its been a good 2 years or so since I last visited god-friggin england. its freaking cold. freaking cold. i thought new zealand was cold....jeez. My nose is red! Imagine that. And I'm indian. Imagine how cold its gotta be to make a brown nose red. Its so cold..I'm sweating. Seriously. But its nice. Snuggling down into 3 layers of bedclothes. Its gonna sound cliche'd but I think I really do belong in europe. you wouldn't be able to tell by my skin color of course but really, it all seems right. The colors are more vivid. My thoughts more clear. My breath more clean. There are tons of indians here too. Tons. Half the airport is run by us.
Right now I'm the Park Internation Hotel. Very very near central chelsea. took 40 pounds for a taxi to get us here. Can't write much really. I don't feel all that introspective anymore. Its all pouring out, not coming in. zenia, if you're reading this which you should. whats valeries address? they don't have milo here...strange, can't seem to find it AT ALL. even asked my aunt i did...then how? email me quick.

Went to visit a thelemite abbey. Very very mystical. Too much so. I felt almost no magic. It was just history. The power the place held was long dead but held its own wierd power by death. Sorta like a case of absence makes the heart grow fonder. then i went to visit epping forest. now there was magic. it was still very much alive. sorta like this small occult faction, the LOGDOS (london golden dawn occult society) a very thaumaturgical place. magic ran like water. the people were all very nice and normal. they didn't claim anything special but they were capable of quite a bit.

tired, tired, tired, not going to france. scared of spending anymore money. jeez i feel like shite. got an email from amue. says she misses me. then says she met this really great guy she went out with yesterday(todd, you said you had my back!?) bloody hell!! i told her we shouldn't have anything serious...but I was being all romantic and trying to build stuff up...fuck it man, i'm never going to speak my mind to a girl again...at least arsenal won 3-0. chelsea blokes won 4-0. got depressed again when i found out man u won 3-0. what do i really want in my life? i'm feeling horrible. thanks a lot amue....nah i'm not snapping at you. i've got this problem i notice. when i'm with a girl, she says how much she just wants to have my kids and get married and stuff. I kid you not! happened 3 times at least. then i make 1 mistake. just ONE! and it all comes crashing down...wth man...from hero to zero....piss..i bought her something nice too.