Anya :)

A good friend. I think a good friend is someone who you care about. Yeah, so many of us claim to. But seriously, I think its all a big game of pretend. We act nice and jolly and goody to them just so that they'll act nicely to us and make us feel good about ourselves. Okay, maybe i'm being an arse by generalising. This is what I do. Me alone, I don't know about the others. I think the only good friend I ever had was this pakistani/chinese girl whose name I can't even remember now. Its shameful really. But she was seriously, the best of the best for me. It didn't start out as friendship. At least not with that in mind. I liked her. And she liked me. Hahaha...she even wanted to breed with me. (her words exactly, she was sorta shy about the word 'sex'). In the end, we didn't work out too well for love, cause she already had a boyfriend at the time, and if she broke up with him for me, then I would not take her cause I would not be able to trust a girl who broke up with her boyfriend for someone else. Hehehe flippin wierd, but thats me. Well, yeah she was a bloody good friend after that. By the way, she's 5 years older than me. So when I met her at 16, she was 21. Don't ask....it was just that way. Why was our friendship so good? Mainly because we could be so ourselves and so at ease with each other. Its like, if she did something that annoyed me, or pissed me off, I could tell her straight. I would express my anger, and she would express her anger, and then we'd cool off and be friends again, stronger than ever. As Nowadays, I am way too tired to do that. Way to tired to forge a real friendship. If I'm pissed with someone, i just get pissed inwardly. Its takes too much time to actually heal the wound at the source. I loved the way we could shout, or scream or whatever and still know that I'd be alright. They say that guys are not supposed to be all feelings and stuff. But I think I am that way. I cannot! keep feelings inside. If something rubs me the wrong way and I keep it in, it gets to my head and causes all sorts of mental shit. So, yeah, she was real good. And I never had a friend so beautiful ever :) Ah...Anya. Thats her name. She was good. She was the only person I've ever let inside. She's the only person I've cried to. I never had to lie to her. Never had to act bigger than I was. Never had to be more. I was always just enough. But time, distance and space now seperate us. But worst than that is a rift in minds. She's got a lot more responsibility on her now. She's doing her best to start a family in Sydney, last I heard at least. She's got her studies and her work. Her boyfriend. Her parents. Her other friends. Her writing :), which is where I got my writing. Its so hard to just be yourself to everyone else. You know they're going to hit you at your weak points. So, here's to Anya for loving me at the right time, and not loving me at the right time! The best to you future love :)